This last Sunday, I planned out my whole week. 

I wrote down exactly what time I'm getting up, what my morning routine would be, what projects I'm working on before and after clients, and what I'm doing in the evening.

The reason I did this is two-fold.

Most mornings — when I'm not frantically running around from laying in bed too long — I like to have a few minutes to sit quietly.

I put on my noise canceling headphones, close my eyes, do some deep breathing, and then just sit.

I like to see what bubbles up in the silence.

This morning, it didn't take long before something very specific came through.

During the Q&A portion of my workshop at the Breaking the Silence Conference, someone asked me a question I’d never been asked before.

He said, "With all the baggage there is around the word forgiveness, have you ever thought of using a different word?"

For a slight moment, I hesitated. 

But internally, the answer was clear.

Around this time of year, the word freedom gets thrown around a lot. 

We typically think of freedom of speech, freedom of religion, the freedom to go where we want, when we want.

But how often do you think about emotional freedom?

Last week I told you about my forgiveness journey and explained that forgiveness is for you, not them.

Today, I want to tell you about my friend Samantha.

Last year, she and her fiancé broke up. Samantha, being a very self-aware and highly ambitious person, went back to therapy.

In therapy, the insights came through, the self-care increased, and what had been an incredibly hard year started to feel easier to carry.

Until her ex reached out.

Wow, the last 3 days have been incredible.

For the first time ever, a group of survivors and parents organized a conference to address the far too common, and yet still taboo topic of sibling sexual trauma/abuse, and I was there.

There was such power in these rooms.

People who’ve done the work to live the life they want and rise above the life that was handed to them.

I know I've been a little quieter than usual lately.

But I haven't been hiding. I've been living.

Three months in Mexico. Flying across the country to watch my niece graduate.

Long dinners with people I love. Spreading my grandmother's ashes with my dad, three years after her passing (hey, better late than never, right?!).

This is what I mean when I say that I’ve intentionally crafted the life I want, instead of living out the life that was handed to me.

 And it doesn't always look big and bold. 

Yesterday, Mary from Washington showed up to our IG Live and I'm so glad she did. She's been carrying a painful dynamic with her two sons for a long time. 

Hurt feelings. Invalidation. That aching sense of not being seen or understood by the people you love most. Sound familiar?

I just realized something while driving my scooter through Tulum, Mexico. 🛵

It's a metaphor for my entire life.

Here's the thing... the roads here are a lot. Some are paved. But a lot of them? 

Pure dirt, filled with potholes the size of small craters and rocks that'll send you flying if you're not paying attention.

When I first arrived, I had no idea where I was going. I couldn't look at my phone. I didn't know the routes. So I just... barreled forward.

I want to tell you about a recent shift I made in my private practice. 

The reason I want to share is because it might change how you think about therapy, and the healing process, in general.

For years, I worked the way most therapists work. A new client comes in and we talk about their goals. 

What do you want to change? How do you want to feel? What are we working toward?

Then, they'd beautifully articulate why they were stuck and what happened in the past that made them that way.

Did you know that 95% of everything you do comes from your subconscious mind? 🤯

That means most of your behaviors, thoughts, emotions and go-to reactions happen on autopilot. Without you consciously deciding anything.

And here's what I find comical about that: We live in a world that practically worships logic and self-control.

Yet most of us aren't actually in control at all.

In the last 2 months, I’ve been home three days.

Three days.

The rest of the time has been spent in airports, speaking events, family living rooms, and honestly, a lot of time alone with my thoughts.

People keep asking me about my trips. First Mexico, then Washington and California.

And the answer that keeps coming up is: “I feel like I got my spark back.” 🔥

In my last post, I shared that I’ve been feeling a little off lately… like I haven’t been doing exactly what I want to be doing in my life.

But this past weekend, I had the privilege of speaking at the Student Organized Consent Conference Seattle (SOCCS) and that fired me up! 🔥

Have you ever heard the phrase, “Wherever you go, there you are?”

There’s actually a whole book written by Jon Kabatt-Zinn with that title.

Over the last month, I found myself relating to the statement more than ever.

24 hours after landing in Mexico for a kundalini yoga retreat, I knew I wasn’t going home right away.

Something inside me was stirring and I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.

Maybe it was the meditation where I visualized myself crying in my living room at home.

Even though I’m now a published author, nothing quite says “you’re a real writer” like starting a Substack.

I finally feel legit 😆

But seriously, I am excited to try out this new platform and bring my writing here.

Last night my friend Maggi came over and we celebrated our FAILURES.

That’s right! We baked a cake and everything.

Let me explain…

The other day, I walked out of my house and wandered into the backyard where I have this cozy little sitting space with a fire pit 🔥

Having an outdoor spot where I can be (mostly) alone is basically a requirement for me every time I move.

I do my best thinking outside.

That’s where I can sit quietly, listen to the birds, and really tune in.

Tune into what exactly?

Tune into myself, my intuition, God, the Universe, whatever you want to call it (because honestly, I’m still not sure what to call it).

As I look out my window at the freshly fallen snow, I can hardly believe how fast the time has gone.

This past month especially has been so full of life experiences, it’s hard to know where to begin.

Do I share the emotional high of releasing my book into the world?
Or the shocking family fallout that came because of it?
Do I tell you about the incredible outpouring of love and support from so many wonderful people?
Or about the 15-year friendship that’s suddenly in question?
Do I mention the shame spiral that hit after the book launch?
Or that one of my foster kittens passed away suddenly on Saturday morning? There’s just so much I could write about!

I can hardly believe that today’s the day! My book is officially out in the world! 🌎

And if you can believe it… I’m out of words. 😅

So instead, I’ll let this beautiful review speak for itself: