Why I couldn't Meditation for Years
I get a lot of questions about meditation from my clients. And honestly, it makes perfect sense.
Ask just about anyone if they think meditation is good for them, and you’ll hear a big, resounding YES!
But ask if they do it regularly? That’s when the stories come in:
“I don’t have time.”
“I can’t sit still.”
“It’s too hard.”
“I can’t clear my mind.”
“It’s just not for me.”
And I get it. I’ve said all of those too.
But saying you can’t meditate because your mind is too busy is like saying you can’t do yoga because you’re not flexible.
The practice is what makes you flexible.
Same goes for meditation. You don’t start out knowing how to do it. And it doesn’t “work” just because you tried once and didn’t feel zen afterward. Like any other skill, it takes learning, repetition, and gentleness. Over time, something shifts.
You begin to notice yourself breathing slower.
You pause before reacting.
You become more aware of your thoughts, your body, your patterns.
And that’s the point.
Emily Fletcher, founder of Ziva Meditation, says:
“It's not about becoming good at meditation. It's about becoming good at life.”
And I feel that.
For years, I wanted a solid morning meditation routine. And for years, I’d start strong—motivated and inspired—only to fall off track. I’d forget, or something else would grab my attention. I’d convince myself I didn’t really need it.
But at a Self-Love workshop four years ago, something clicked.
I realized that my inability to commit to my meditation practice wasn’t about laziness or lack of discipline. It was deeper than that.
It was about me not showing up for me.
I had this pattern of wanting other people to show up, to commit, to love me consistently—but I wasn’t giving that to myself.
How could anyone else commit to me, if I couldn't commit to myself?
So I made a promise. In the name of self-love, I started meditating every weekday. Sometimes five minutes. Sometimes twenty. But the act of showing up was what mattered.
That one practice changed so much.
It gave me focus.
It gave me calm.
It gave me a stronger connection to my Adult Self, who could finally soothe and support my Inner Child in the mornings instead of leaving her to wake up in chaos.
It helped regulate my nervous system, too. That morning stillness signals safety to my body. It tells my brain, “You’re not in danger. You don’t have to be on guard.”
And the more I practice, the more attuned I become to the parts of me that are reactive, avoidant, anxious, or overstimulated. I don’t shame them anymore. I listen.
Meditation is also how I connect with my Higher Self—and a Higher Power. That’s where my goals come into focus. My intuition gets louder. My sense of alignment returns.
And my favorite part?
When I get quiet enough to hear those soft, inspired nudges from within. The ones that only emerge in stillness.
If you’re still skeptical about starting—or restarting—your practice, here’s a little something to help.
👇🏼 Below is a short video introducing you to a simple 4x6 breathing technique:
Inhale for 4 counts
Exhale for 6 counts
That longer exhale tells your nervous system that you're safe. It shifts you from stress mode to relaxation mode. It’s a powerful tool for trauma-informed healing, especially for those of us who feel anxious or overwhelmed.
Even just 3–5 minutes of this can help you access peace, clarity, and a grounded sense of presence.
And if you missed the first practice I shared a few weeks ago—a Shaking Meditation that helps release stuck energy—you can check that out here.
💜 Meditation doesn’t have to look like sitting cross-legged in silence for an hour.
It can be breathing. It can be movement. It can be a pause between sips of coffee.
Whatever form it takes, the deeper invitation is the same: Come back to yourself.
Let your Adult Self show up for the rest of you.
Let your nervous system feel safe.
Let your thoughts pass like clouds.
And just… notice.
I hope you enjoy the practice.
Let me know what comes up for you.
You are worth showing up for.