Which Tools Do You Use?

I wanted to share a little story with you that happened while I was in Italy with my family. And it all started with an ego bruise.

“I don’t want to hang out with you, Aunty BrinnB,” my 4-year-old nephew declared to me on the 7th day of the trip.

OUCH. That hurt.

In my head, I was sticking my tongue out at him and telling him he couldn’t come to my birthday party. 😡

Then another thought kicked in:
“Why doesn’t he want to hang out with his Aunty BrinnB?” 🥺

Was I not fun enough?
Not creative enough?
Not cool enough?
Was I not a good aunt?
Was I not doing enough to foster a relationship with him?

My Inner Critic knew all the answers, of course. HECK NO I WASN’T ENOUGH!
And my Inner Child felt every bit of that. 😭

This is the kind of moment that used to spiral me into a full shame storm. I could feel it bubbling up—old wounds, past stories, childhood insecurities—and I knew I was at a crossroads.

First, I did what many of us do: I shut down. I numbed out in my room, scrolling through Instagram like a zombie.

Then came the emotional hangover—mopey, tired, irritable, annoyed. Even angry.
But I wasn’t actually moving through the feelings. I was stuck in them.

This is what trauma therapy and parts work have taught me to recognize—when my nervous system is overwhelmed and I'm acting from a younger part of myself.

I knew I needed to do something with the emotions. And since the trigger was a 4-year-old, I couldn’t exactly dump it on him.

Disappointing, I know. 🙄

Luckily, we were in the countryside at the time, so I stepped outside and found a little shady spot under a tree where no one could see or hear me.

And there, I TAPPED.

If you’re not familiar with EFT tapping (Emotional Freedom Technique), it’s a trauma-informed healing practice that’s a beautiful blend of somatic work and energy medicine. It helps regulate the nervous system by stimulating acupressure points, releasing stuck emotional energy through gentle rhythmic tapping with your fingers.

It might sound woo-woo, but I swear it works. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

I tapped on the sadness, the embarrassment, the anger, the fear, and the not-enough-ness. I tapped on my deep desire to be a good aunt, a good sister, and a meaningful part of this family.

As the tears came, I felt the release my nervous system had been craving. Not just from the moment with my nephew—but from the emotional weight I’d been carrying all week.

Because, let’s be real—it’s hardly ever just about the moment. Relationships (especially family ones) can bring up layers. Sometimes it’s old pain dressed up in new clothes.

That’s the thing about parts work. You start to see that the triggered voice in your head isn’t all of you—it’s a part of you. And once I tapped into that part, gave her space to cry and be held, something shifted.

Tapping gave me the space to process, to regulate, and to come back to center—quickly and gently.

About 20 minutes and one big cry later, I walked back inside feeling grounded, open, and clear.

My sweet little nephew was playing with dominoes, so I jumped right in—this time, with full energy and imagination.

I made him laugh. A lot. And honestly, I think it was the best hangout session we’ve had in a long time. 😁

That moment reminded me why I love the tools I teach and use. Whether it’s EFT tapping, somatic exercises, journaling, or even just stepping outside to breathe and feel your feet on the ground—these practices matter. They work.

Because we will get triggered. We will feel things deeply. That’s part of being human. But when we have tools to move through it in real-time, we don’t have to stay stuck.

So, I’m curious… What do you do when you’re feeling big emotions? What tools are in your tool belt to help you navigate emotional waves in a healthy way?

And if you're still building that toolkit, I'm here for that! Let’s keep doing the work, together.

Also, are you curious about how tapping could help you in your life? Click here to schedule a free 15 minute consultation to learn more.

Lastly, you can also listen to me interview my ETF Tapping teacher and friend Steph Dodds in episode 1 of the Wholisitic Approach to Healing podcast.