The Secret to Nailing Tough Talks
Last week, I went out to coffee with my friend Taylor.
She was feeling pretty nervous because she knew she had to have a hard conversation with someone—and, honestly, she wasn’t looking forward to it.
She didn’t know how or when to bring it up, was worried about how she might come across, and was bracing herself for the other person’s potential reaction.
Now, isn't that relatable?
The Adult-self knows there needs to be a conversation, but the Inner Child is screaming, ”I don’t wanna!” while the Critic is bringing the pressure to not screw it up.
Plus, they’re already judging the other person for how they could potentially react.
Now, doesn’t that sound like a recipe for authentic connection?
Yeah, not so much.
That inner struggle is starting the conversation off on the wrong foot.
So, while we can’t control how someone else reacts, we can set ourselves up for success.
One of the biggest factors in navigating hard conversations is timing.
Because here’s the thing – the Inner Child will either avoid it completely so it feels like there’s never a good time or they feel so anxious about it that they blurt it out at the wrong time.
Again, I think we can all relate 🥴
That’s why I wanted to teach you my all-time favorite tool when it comes to nailing timing.
Once I feel ready enough to have the conversation, I set an intention. A little affirmation. A prayer, if you will.
I say, “Universe, I trust that the right opportunity to have this conversation will present itself and when it does, I trust I’ll have the courage to take it.”
This very simple and very powerful statement is a game-changer for a few reasons.
It calls the Adult part of yourself forward. The Adult is the part of you that steps up to set the intention and declare readiness. Just by saying this, you’re grounding yourself in your Adult-self, which makes it much harder for the Inner Child or Critic to hijack the moment.
It focuses on trust. Trust that the timing will align, and trust in yourself to have the courage when the moment comes.
It’s speaks in the positive, present tense. This language opens the door for the Universe to do its thing—because you’re already affirming that it’s happening.
Now here’s the kicker: This final step is both the simplest and the hardest.
You’ve got to let go.
Let go of obsessing over finding the “perfect” time. Let go of the anxiety.
Let go of replaying past conversations or worrying about future ones. Just let it go.
Stay open. The right moment will come—and when it does, you’ll be ready.
So go forth, and let’s keep spreading positive, healthy communication and connection. Because, honestly, we could all use a little more of that.