What Does Your Inner Teenager Need to Hear?
Do you ever catch yourself rolling your eyes at something? Or rebelling against perceived authority, just because you don’t like being told what to do. If so, you might be you’re feeling your Inner Teenager. 😎
While I categorize the teenage part of ourselves under the same umbrella as the Inner Child, it’s important to differentiate our adolescent part from our kid part.
Teens often feel misunderstood, deeply emotional, depressed, anxious, jaded, bored or numb. They're also eager to discover who they are and make an impact.
It's hard being a teen because the brain can fully comprehend what's happening in life, and yet, there’s a lack autonomy and control, which is frustrating!
While it could feel similar to the child vibe, these nuances are significant.
Maybe you experienced trauma during these years, and it shifted your whole life, ripping off the rose-colored glasses of childhood. Or perhaps you’re like me and have shame around actions and behaviors you aren't proud of.
That’s why healing the teen is essential to our mental health.
One of the ways I like to start this process is by writing a Two-Part Letter.
You can, and I highly recommend, writing a letter to the Inner Child too, but it’s important that these letters are separate.
A child needs to hear different words than a young adult.
So, take some time yourself in a quiet, safe place where you feel comfortable. Be prepared with a journal or another writing apparatus. Then, begin.
Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths in and out. Now picture yourself as a teenager. Maybe you’re sitting in your room, or walking down the hallway at school. Wherever it is, focus on how they are feeling.
Open your eyes and start writing from your teenage perspective, as if they are the one writing. Write about how you as the teen feels and what’s happening in life for them. Share whatever you would have wanted a safe adult to know.
Take a deep breath and respond to the teen from your Adult, present day self. Tell them what they need to hear, and what they wanted to hear back then. Assure them, comfort them. Tell them how special they are. Remind them of their talents, skills, kind heart and desire to help others. Tell them everything you wish someone would have told you.
And once you do this, write me back and tell me how it went! I’d love to hear about how you connected with this part and gave them a voice.
Maybe your teen was lucky enough to have an adult help them through hard times, and maybe, this is the first time they're feeling this kind of support.
And after all these years, what a beautiful gift to give.