What Does Survival Mode Look Like For You?
Last weekend, I had the honor of presenting at the 9th Annual Georgetown Day School Sexual Assault and Consent Summit—a conference created by high school students for their peers, parents, and educators.
How amazing is that?
Throughout the weekend, survivors shared powerful stories of healing and resilience, in a space was filled with openness and support. It was truly inspiring, and I’m so grateful to have been part of it.
During my 50-minute workshop, I shared about my own healing journey of overcoming childhood trauma by connecting with different parts of myself—my Inner Critic, Inner Child, and Adult Self.
I explained how trauma triggers survival modes like fight, flight, freeze, or fawn, which activate the Critic and Child, both trying to protect us in their own ways.
But here’s the thing—when we feel calm, present, and connected—what I call thriver mode—we’re operating from our Adult. That’s when life feels a bit more manageable.
People often think survival mode is all about dramatic reactions—punching someone, running away, or freezing like a possum.
But it’s more nuanced than that. It’s a spectrum.
For example, fight mode doesn’t always mean throwing punches. It can look like snapping at someone, feeling extra irritable, or just being stubborn.
Flight mode isn’t always about physically running away, either. Sometimes it’s as simple as zoning out or mentally escaping to a happier place (something I did a lot in school). Both are flight mode—they’re just different degrees of it.
The good news?
We can learn to manage these reactions and heal the parts of us that hold onto them. When we work with our Critic and Child, those intense reactions can soften, making life feel a little lighter.
Over the past three months, I’ve hosted three workshops diving into these topics, and in two weeks, I’ll be wrapping up the series with the final workshop:
This one is all about tapping into that calm, level-headed, mature part of yourself—the part that not all adults can always access (and trust me, I’m no exception!).
We all get triggered, slipping into survival mode where our Inner Critic and Inner Child take over.
This isn't just a part of being human, it's necessary for survival.
But my goal, and maybe yours too, is to recognize when I’m in that space and gently guide myself out of it as quickly as I can. The less time I spend stuck in those modes, the better—though I fully honor their role in keeping us safe when needed.
So, if you haven't already registered, and you’re curious about joining Strengthening Your Adult, click here to register.
And if you’re looking for more support in embracing and understanding these parts of yourself, hit reply and let's chat!
Being part of the Georgetown Day School summit reminded me how powerful it is to share our stories and support each other on the path to healing. I’m so grateful for that experience—and grateful that you’re here on this journey too.
PS: I recently was interviewed on the Healing Through You Podcast so if you want to hear more about my own personal healing journey, check it out here.