My Attempt at Patience

I've been calling the last couple weeks the waiting weeks.

You know, those times of year that are reserved for between holidays, your birthday, and your next trip. Filled with excitement about the wonderful what-ifs.

With one foot planted squarely in all the beautiful ways it could turn out even better than you expected. While the other foot is just as firm in all the ways it could go wrong.

This time, the waiting weeks, came with a lot of space on my calendar.

And depending on which part of myself I'm listening to, that space can mean a whole lot of different things.

Here's where it started: Back in June, I put the intention out there to slow down my client load. 

In the middle of having an influx of new clients, I didn't have an exact reason

but something inside me nudged me that direction so I prepared my business anyway.

Which meant seeing less clients.

Like way less clients.

I wasn't sure why I was doing it, I just trusted the inner guidance.

Next thing I know, an incredible opportunity drops in my lap. 

A two-month project that needed my immediate attention.

I stopped questioning the space.

But then the project wrapped, and I found myself in a different kind of space.

A waiting space. 

Waiting to hear next steps on the project.

Waiting to get back to routine after two weeks of house sitting.

Waiting to start with new clients again.

And that's when I panicked. 😱

I had been getting exactly what I'd asked for, and saw the rewards, but the moment there was breathing room, the old fears crept back in loud and clear.

Right on cue, my Critic showed up. "You're not being productive. You need to work harder. You have all this time, might as well use it. It's time to start moving forward again."

Then there's my Inner Child, scared we're going to lose everything unless we keep pushing forward.

And then there's my grounded Adult-Self, who saw the reality of the situation: 

I'm waiting because something is coming.

I've learned to rest pretty easily in the logic of my Adult-Self.

But here's the thing: Lately, it’s the inner knowing that I’ve been resting in even more.

Call it intuition. Your thoughts. Your higher-self or even God.

But whenever I tap into what I know is true for me, that’s when I feel my most at peace with whatever chapter of life I’m in.

And you know what?

Just at that same time the Critic was really starting to lay into me, my dear friend here in Asheville injured herself and was suddenly unable to walk. 

She lives alone and has two very active dogs.

She needed help. 🥵

And now, I've gone to her house nearly every day this week. 

And every time I drive there, I'm grateful I have time and space to do it.

Because I know I won't always have this time. 

But right now, in the waiting, I do.

So I'm curious: what phase are you in right now? And can you see how it's exactly where you're supposed to be?

PS: If you don't yet have your own mediation bundle that helps befriend your Inner Critic, soothe your Inner Child, and strengthen your Adult-Self, click here for the download.