Let's Talk about Talking: Part 1

Communication. We chat with checker at the grocery store, we discuss our life with our best friend, we sigh at our partner, we cross our arms at our teenager, we email our boss and we form new relationships with clients. In a way, communication is life.

So why do so many people feel like they don’t know how to do it?!

Growing up as a child, healthy communication was not something my family practiced. There were secrets, cover ups, outbursts and relationship cut offs all because open and honest communication was not being used.  

Not only were people not using their words (like we often teach little children) but people weren’t aware of the other important components of communication; such as, active listening, tone, body language, and facial expressions. These all send direct messages to the receiver about how the other person feels about them. 

Watching my nephew grow up over the last two years, I’ve come to realize that babies start communicating at a very young age. Now at 2 ½ years old you can tell exactly what he wants and doesn’t want, not based on his cute babbles and half sentences, but based on all the other components that are sending messages to the listener.

 In fact, only 7% of communication happens with words.

 That leaves 93% of communication to be left up to non-verbal cues! That’s a lot!

Over the next few weeks I am going to lay out a very helpful, easy to understand and digest communication model that I originally learned from the Authentic Leadership Center, 10 years ago.

 In that past 10 years I have honed this skill while witnessing my relationships change and improve. I have practiced the ability to defuse intense situations, listen with empathy and compassion and express myself without judging, attacking or blaming. Honestly, it’s probably one of the most helpful tools in my toolbox.

Stay tuned in for more pointers and tips about communication as we navigate this thing we call life.