Thanks, Grandma, I love you

In January last year I felt the itch to move out of my apartment.

I wanted something new, a change, and was looking for different places to live in midtown. The same day I was offered a lease on a new place, my grandmother called and asked me to stay with her for a couple days while she got out the hospital after hip surgery. She was 95 at the time and had lived alone for over 32 years.

Here we are 13 months later and I have spent most of the last year living with her and all the year being one of her full-time caregivers.

Over the past 13 months she and I have literally laughed until we’ve cried and cried until we’ve laughed. I have had to clean up messes that I thought were reserved for parents of small babies only. I've made countless meals of tuna, liverwurst, and cottage cheese. I have poured an absurd amount of Sherry and marveled at the amount of alcohol and sugar one tiny human can consume. I have been scared while calling 911 after a bad fall. I've been at her beck and call and I have listened to her stories on repeat over and over and over and over again.

And I still kinda like her... 😉

I have never enjoyed living in a physical location more than Mill Valley and spent every day in deep appreciation for that. I looked forward to my daily walks along the water with hawks flying above and listening to the calls of barn owls and coyotes at night.

Has anyone else seen the show Fraiser?? Well, I have... 3 times now! Watching a few episodes each night has been our nightly ritual.

While at times, I may have felt frustrated, sad and angry with her, I have also felt so much more love, compassion, empathy, support, admiration, inspiration, and pride as well!!! And that's what will stick with me.

Today we closed a chapter.

Today, we moved my grandmother out of her beautiful home of 33 years in Marin County, into a lovely, small, assisted living home only 2 miles away from my parents in Sacramento. I am filled with such a wide variety of emotions and feel so raw and drained by this transition.

It’s been a journey to say the least and one I am so grateful that I said yes to. While there is deep grief and sorrow in the world right now, with war and families being torn apart, I do feel so privileged to be with my family. This experience has brought us closer, it has made me a better human, and it has shown me a different side of humanity than I had ever witnessed before.

Thanks Grandma, I love you.