Anyone Want a Redo?

When you were a kid, did you ever find yourself wanting a redo? 

“I lost that game, I want a redo!"

"I got a bad score on a test, I want a redo!

"I missed the shot, I want a redo!” 

As we get older, however, the Inner Critic might chime in and say, “You shouldn’t need a redo, it should be perfect the first time.” 

Or the small, wounded part of yourself says, “I don’t want to keep humiliating myself, so I'm not going to try again.” 

But the wise part of yourself can see a different perspective. This part sees redos as healthy and important for growth.

Redos are practice for the future. 

15 years ago when I first learned a communication model that would go on to change so much of my life, I learned to ask for a lot of redos. 

At 22 years old, I had no concept of how I felt, why I felt that way or how to express what I needed. 

But I wanted to learn. 

So, after countless failed attempts at communicating (or not communicating) I began to ask for redos.  

I’d take the new communication model in hand, walk back to the scene of the crime, head held high, knowing I was ready to try again. 

 I didn’t let my Inner Critic’s negative voice or my Inner Child’s fear interfere. 

I’d lovingly remind both of them that mistakes are ok. We were righting a wrong. 

Then, I’d sit there, painstakingly answering the prompts. 

When I finished, I'd expressed what I’d experienced, what I felt, what story was happening inside my mind, and what my request and commitments were.

This action, this redo, was the roadmap to the future I wanted to create. 

A future filled with honest, authentic expression and, hopefully, less blame and judgment. 

One that allows others to see the real me, as opposed to the one that had been conditioned to keep everything inside. 

At least, that's the intention, even if I still stumble sometimes.

 So, as this year comes to a close, try not to think about what you’d like to radically change about your life. 

Maybe try asking, where do I want a redo? 

How I can move forward, with the information from the past, and choose to do something a little different in the future. 

Are there apologies that need to be made? Are there truths that need to be spoken? Are there commitments that need to be adjusted? 

Redos keep us humble. They spark healing, build resilience, and are practice for our future-selves. 

So before you write off 2023 as being in the past, take some time to realign.

See where you can use a redo, to make sure that this new year is done right.