Why I Stopped Setting Goals (and got better results)

I want to tell you about a recent shift I made in my private practice. 

The reason I want to share is because it might change how you think about therapy, and the healing process, in general. 

For years, I worked the way most therapists work. 

A new client comes in and we talk about their goals. 

What do you want to change? How do you want to feel? What are we working toward?

Then, they'd beautifully articulate why they were stuck and what happened in the past that made them that way.

Slowly, week by week, session by session, we work hard, make progress, but then, almost like clockwork, the old patterns creep back in. 

The old beliefs. An old way of reacting. They start to hit the same wall, get frustrated, plateau, and blame themselves (or me 😳) for not being better.

And one day it dawned on me.

We were trying to plant a garden... without preparing the soil first. 🌻

So I changed everything about how I work.

Now, when someone comes to me, we do a Breakthrough Session first. 

Before we set goals. Before we figure out where we're going. Before I teach tools and skills.

First, we clear out the subconscious blocks.

I know I talked about the Breakthrough Session last week, but I want to give a few more specifics.

🌱 Phase 1: Tilling the Soil

First, we bring everything to the surface. The conscious and unconscious blocks aren’t serving anymore. We explore what's not working, what keeps showing up, what you're still carrying. We go deep about what's happening now, not what happened in the past.

🧹 Phase 2: Clearing the Soil

This is where everything changes. Using powerful subconscious tools, we release old, stuck emotions and negative beliefs. The anger, sadness, fear, hurt, guilt and shame that have been running quietly (or not so quietly) in the background. We don't talk about those emotions. We don't analyze them. We release them. 

🌻 Phase 3: Planting New Seeds

Once the old stuff is released, then we build. Together, we create a compelling vision rooted in your actual values, not in fear, old stories, or who you were told to be. This is where we get clear on where you want to go. 

💧 Phase 4: Watering & Care

We don't just leave you there. We close the session by anchoring your new vision and making sure you leave with clarity, direction, and a felt sense of what's possible for you now. Plus, we schedule follow up sessions to keep you on track.

And here's what I've found on the other side of this:

Some clients finish the Breakthrough Session and feel complete. 

The things they've been carrying for years are simply gone and they don't need anything else.

Others want to keep going and we continue tending the garden together. 

That’s when we dive into skill building, tools, and a deeper understanding of self.

And that work goes so much faster when we're not constantly bumping into all the old baggage. 

Either way, clearing out the old helps you move forward into the new, wherever that takes you…. because you can't plant seeds for a beautiful life in unhealthy soil.

Ready to make some changes in your own life? Book a free consultation call to learn more.