Ever Ask Everyone for Advice Except Yourself?
As I look out my window at the freshly fallen snow, I can hardly believe how fast the time has gone.
This past month especially has been so full of life experiences, it’s hard to know where to begin.
Do I share the emotional high of releasing my book into the world?
Or the shocking family fallout that came because of it?
Do I tell you about the incredible outpouring of love and support from so many wonderful people?
Or about the 15-year friendship that’s suddenly in question?
Do I mention the shame spiral that hit after the book launch?
Or that one of my foster kittens passed away suddenly on Saturday morning?
There’s just so much I could write about!
But when I really sit with it and think about what would actually be most helpful or insightful for you, two big lessons stand out from this past month:
Stop asking other people for advice on your own life.
Don’t be afraid to pivot.
Let me explain.
The first lesson is one I’ve battled my whole life.
We’ve all done it.
And to be clear– I’m not talking about leaning on a trusted confidant who helps you sort through what you truly want.
I’m talking about those moments when you already know the answer in your heart, but you keep searching anyway. For validation. For confirmation.
You look for other opinions because your truth feels uncomfortable.
You feel pressure to please, to do “the right thing,” thinking someone else must know what that right thing is.
But here’s the thing: You're the only person who knows the whole situation AND you already have the answer.
You’re just afraid of what that answer might mean for your life and that’s the uncertainty.
Which brings me to point number two: Don’t be afraid to pivot.
We make choices every single day.
And sometimes, we’re so scared to make them because we think one wrong move will stick with us for-ev-er (yes, like in The Sandlot).
Sure, some choices, like having children, stick with you forever. But most decisions? They’re reversible.
It just takes a little bit of courage and humility to say, “I want something different from what I said before."
Remember:
You can sell the house.
Leave the marriage.
Quit the job.
Go back to the job.
Move and then move again.
You can even change the subtitle of your book one week after launch (true story).
If you’re someone who struggles with decision-making, you’re not alone. I struggle with it too because I see so many possibilities, so many angles and outcomes.
But every single time I finally listen to myself, I feel better.
Every. Single. Time.
And funny enough, the thing I originally wanted, before asking anyone else, almost always ends up being what I do anyway.
So next time you catch yourself reaching for the phone or bringing up your situation over lunch, try this instead:
Spend that time having the conversation with yourself. Imagine it’s your friend coming to you for advice. What would you tell them?
Chances are, you already know.
And if you’re currently standing at a crossroads and need a little extra nudge, hit reply. I’ll help you find the courage to listen to the person who knows you best — you. 💜